Please excuse this terribly depressing entry.

My weekend with Joel was wonderful...yet horrific. Allow me to explain.

I ate Japanese food.. and drank tea...and saw bad bar bands...and talked with Joel's mom...and got to hear Joel cantor at church...and went swimming...and just had a great time with one of my favorite people.
Oh yeah, and then my car died.

As my car is jerking around and stalling and doing all sorts of crazy things...I freak out.
Kris in a high pitched and frazzled voice: "Joel, are you FEELING THIS?! there is something VERY WRONG with my car right now"
Joel: "boss, it's fine, don't worry about it"
Kris, yelling: no, it is very NOT FINE!
and on and on and on...
..calling people, checking things...hoping and praying and worrying. I ended up taking a bus home sunday evening and my dad went out today to bring it back here so we can decide what to do with it. It was recommended to him by a mechanic out there to not even bother spending the $1300 it would take to get a new transmission...it would be better to just scrap it and start anew.

I have no idea how I'm going to find the money. I know my parents will help.. but they've got 2 kids in college this year and will be struggling already. Friendly's pays me nothing, questar doesn't pay me enough for what I go through..I work all the time and it seems to be just enough to not see my friends and be too tired to do anything productive with my life, but not enough to make much of a difference in my bank account. Plus I'm starting to get stressed out about school already..I'm so scared of the semester to come and how difficult it will be for me academically. Also, I'll now be struggling monetarily, and will not have the time to hold down a job...even one on campus. I don't even have the time to practice for my voice lessons...and little time to go to the gym. All the things I've been trying to do to better myself this summer are slipping.

I live for the little things. Late night conversations with Joel, funny jokes the kids make, working fountain with Justin, gym with Lulu and Jana...and the small snippets of time here and there I get to spend with my friends. I miss them so much.